New Years Resolution – a Siskiyou Writers’ Club Story

A story Mike Grifantini read at the writers January meeting.

People have intimated, increasingly over the past few years, that I am very critical of others.  Some people have told me kindly, others, after a drink or two, state it abruptly and without concern for my feelings.  I must agree, I find faults everywhere.  

The New Year has come, the time for resolutions. When better to make improvements upon myself?  But, how to start?  Maybe during interactions with friends and associates.  I have complained about and criticized their actions for years.  I see their weaknesses and problems.  I will hone a plan–to be less critical—more thoughtful and considerate and—yes, even more loving.  I will turn over a new page.

The next day, my plan was put to work!  I saw Billy Paige at the grocery store.  You probably know him, he has lived here his entire life and worked for (and been fired) from every store.  He saw me rooted in the aisle, in front of the egg display, pondering the $8 prices. I was wandering who was to blame, the money-grubbing egg farms, or the conniving big box store itself?  Maybe even the chickens? 

Billy approached me.  I had seen him out of the corner of my eye but hoped that if I remained focused on my purchasing dilemma, he might just walk past.  No such luck.  “Hey Griff, how you doing.”  My blood pressure, already high thinking of my costly omelets, inched upward.  He knew I hated to be called “Griff”.  Was he trying to get under my skin?

“Hey Griff, I saw Tom Pierson yesterday.  You remember we used to  bowl together.”  The memories of our bowling league raised my pressure another notch.  “Well, he had to have a stint put in!  Can you believe that, and he is only our age.”  I grinned, hoping it would appear as a smile and it might end the conversation.  “I bet that really put a damper on his love life, if you know what I mean.”  He chuckled as he elbowed me in the ribs.  I had no idea what he meant and my grin turned into a grimace, thinking that would surely get rid of this pest.  It didn’t.  I spent the next 5 minutes grin-grimacing, at this blow-heart.  Walking to the car, carrying my egg-free shopping bag, I thought I had done well on the first step of my resolution.  Just grimace a lot–maybe everyone will think I am agreeing and then leave me alone.  Maybe I had found the key to becoming less critical of people.

My next opportunity to practice the newly acquired skill came soon than I anticipated.  When I got home and opened the car door to unload my light-weight bag of groceries, my neighbor suddenly appeared, peering in my window!  Where had that sanctimonious yay hoo come from??  I flashed back to my resolution and decided to immediately show friendship–“Hey George, how you doing this fine morning?”  George immediately delved into his concern for the day—the strip of grass between his house and mine.  The ownership of that terraine had been disputed since I bought the place, but I had begrudgingly taken on its caretaker roll and its mowing.  

“Hey, G Man, when you going to mow that hay field over there.”  He pointed in the direction of the grass strip.  He had cornered me several times through the years, stating how the grass created a fire risk.  “You know, Cal Fire would advise you to cut it and I wouldn’t want you to get in trouble with them–or anyone else.”  The veiled threat immediately cranked up my heart beat.  I grimaced with a friendly continence, using my newly found technique.  Maybe the pesky ant would go away and bother some other neighbors.

He continued with his fire risk harrange for another minute and when only my grimace was his reward, he turned and paced back toward his house.  These resolutions, I was learning, were really tough to keep—but I was sure that my friendly response had real potential for helping me succeed.

I entered the house, put away my paltry bag of groceries and turned on the computer.  I wanted to check the weather and my emails.  The internet was down!  I went through all of the quick fixes I knew.  Nothing helped.

I could feel my heart revving.  I had the number to call.  I prepared myself for the wait, for the elevator music, for the options that never applied to my situation.  Then, the static-laced voice, trying to be friendly but that I knew despised me and hated their job.  I knew that I would only understand part of what they said—after all, that was their ploy, to get me confused so that I would give up.  I braced myself for the call, taking deep breaths, grimacing to myself. 

I tapped in the number on my cell phone—then had a flash of terror.  My new approach, initiated next to the eggs and perfected in my driveway, wouldn’t work!  The person I would talk to would not see my feeble grin-grimmace.  The tactic wouldn’t help me at all!  Sweat began to pour from my forehead.  I would have to be pleasant and talk with this person—as much as I hated them, their company and their jobs.  Could I do it?  I had a brief feeling of dread as I realized that my New Years Resolution, which had been going so well, was now in jeopardy.

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The Siskiyou Writers’ Club is open to all folks with a passion for creative writing of all genres.  We generally meet the last Thursday of the month in various locations throughout Siskiyou County.  You are welcome to join us.  Our next meeting is Thursday, February 27, 2025, 5:00 PM, at the YMCA in Yreka.  For more information about the club, contact Bob Kaster, 530-598-5204, email [email protected], or Mike Grifantini, 530-710-4882, email [email protected]

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