SISQ Writers’ Club: Tombstone Epitaphs

Creative writing comes in all shapes and sizes.  One of the writing challenges undertaken by the Siskiyou Writers Club at its April 25 meeting was to write “your own (or someone’s) epitaph.”  The inspiration for the challenge was a recent Carl Hiaasen novel, called Wrecker.  At the beginning of his novel, Hiaasen recites two epitaphs: “THE RUMOR IS TRUE” and “I TOLD YOU I WAS SICK.”  Carl Hiaasen’s novels are a bit bizarre; not for everyone.

There are many famous epitaphs.  One is in Tombstone, Arizona:

“HERE LIES LESTER MOORE … FOUR SLUGS FROM A 44 … NO LES … NO MORE.”

Another famous one is attributed to W.C. Fields, although reportedly it is not actually on his grave:

“ON THE WHOLE, I’D RATHER BE IN PHILADELPHIA.”

Some of the offerings at the Siskiyou Writers Club meeting were the following:

PORE BOB IS DAID

PORE OL’ BOB IS DAID

A CANDLE LIGHTS HIS HAID.

Bob Kaster

IT SEEMED LIKE A GOOD IDEA AT THE TIME.

Madeleine DeAndreis-Ayres

Ned (Red) Preston

(1831? -1861)

HERE LIES RED

TOOK A BIT OF LEAD

CAUGHT IN THE WRONG BED

– SOME SAID –

Mike Grifantini

EDDY E. EDDY

BORN A REPUBLICAN

LIVED A REPUBLICAN

DIED A REPUBLICAN

Alan Eddy

Club favorite:

HERE LIES ROBERT “BOB” MASON

1963 – 2063

HOW’S THE WEATHER?

I CANNOT TELL.

IT’S HARD TO KNOW,

DOWN HERE IN …

THE DIRT.

Bob Mason