JUST DESSERTS
by Alan R. Eddy
Once upon a time there was a pleasant kingdom ruled by a very old King and Queen. They, of course, had a son, a handsome young Prince whom they encouraged to find a bride worthy of his station. So, he was sent on a quest far and wide until he found the perfect girl.
She, as it turned out, was from the very wealthy kingdom next door and was so beautiful that when she went outdoors all the birds would start singing, and sometimes the sun would even forget to shine.
When the peasants found the two were madly in love, all were happy, for she was well known for her sweet loving disposition and generosity to all.
The King and Queen were thrilled, and the Prince and his bride were soon married. It was a huge celebration attended by crowds from both kingdoms.
The new Prince and Princess quickly settled into their duties, and it seemed everyone was happy. Best of all was the hope there would soon be a new heir.
Alas, it was not to be! Unknown to the happy new couple, there was an evil Witch who had been banished from the kingdom many years before.
“Ha!” said evil Witch Snortmore. “I’ll get even and make the Royal couple both miserable and sad.” After much research, the evil hag set about brewing a vile potion, filled a flask, then bribed a young kitchen helper to pour the contents onto the Princess’s dessert; which, although it tasted odd, the unfortunate beauty ate.
When she learned the innocent Princess had eaten the poisoned dessert, the malicious old calamity chortled and said, “That will fix them! Let them try to have a baby,” then added a curse to make sure the potion worked. The unsuspecting couple could never produce an heir.
There was, at the same time, a sweet young Witch, Bethany by name, who attended Potion and Spell school. She was a terrible student! Most days she would sneak out of class to frolic in the woods or meadow. Frankly, she was just not interested in studying spells she would never use, and the dusty old books made her sneeze.
Instead, she would spend her time doing fun things like turning bumblebees into butterflies, or smelly skunk spray into perfume, and her favorite—doubling the amount of pollen in flowers so there would be more for the hummingbirds to eat.
Alas, all good things must end, so when it became graduation time, Bethany was summoned before the head Witch, who glared at her and said, “You, young lady, are simply the worst student we have ever had in school!” Then, seeing the young girl was about to cry, in a softer voice said, “Bethany, you’ll be able to graduate, but I fear you will be a very unsuccessful Witch.” With that, she handed Bethany her diploma, and she was dismissed, not being allowed to attend the graduation ceremony.
Bethany soon found a small grassy meadow where, with a few waves of her wand, she made a beautiful small house. She was never alone, as the animals she’d befriended at school followed her. To keep them happy, she made sure the oak trees had double acorns for the little squirrels, the grass had extra seeds for the rabbits, and there were meaty earthworms for the robins. She also planted a huge garden (self-watering and self-weeding, of course) to be enjoyed by all the forest animals and herself.
One day, the beautiful new Princess rode up to Bethany’s cabin and asked politely if she could have a word with the young Witch.
“Sure,” said Bethany. “Come on in.” And so the two young women entered the cozy little abode.
“I need help,” said the Princess. “I have a problem that none of the other Wizards can solve. Witch Snortmore is so powerful they are afraid to help me.” Weeping, she told Bethany about the terrible curse, and although she and the Prince had been trying, it seemed she would never be able to conceive and have a baby unless the spell was broken.
“I’m told you are very kind and might be able to help us,” said the young Princess. “I’ve also been told you are not a very good Witch; but you are our last hope.” With that, the poor woman broke down sobbing.
“I will help you if I can,” said Bethany. “I lack experience, but I’ll try to find a potion to break that terrible spell.”
The next day, Bethany went to the school’s library and spent several hours looking up a cure to help the newlyweds. She was about to give up when she spied a small book that obviously had not been used in many years. Leafing through the pages, she found the perfect recipe. It even had a cancelling curse that should nullify Snortmore’s curse. And best of all, pregnancy was guaranteed!
“Oh, goodie,” said Bethany. “This book looks so old, I bet Witch Snortmore has never seen this spell. I really might be able to help!” Wearing a smile, she hopped on her broom and went home—the roundabout, scenic way, of course.
The next morning, Bethany began gathering the ingredients for her spell. “Oh, just think,” she mused. “My very first important spell, and it’s to help the Prince and Princess make a baby!”
The recipe seemed simple enough with just a few ingredients. “Let’s see, powdered Unicorn hoof, snake oil, frog hair, horse feathers, and ear wax from a pig’s left ear.”
Bethany put the ingredients in a small pot and boiled the mixture while stirring with a wooden spoon—three turns clockwise, then three turns counterclockwise—while saying the required chant, just like the recipe said.
“Just the usual stuff,” mused the inexperienced Witch. Then, taking a small sip, she decided to add a pinch of rosemary, a dollop of honey, and a jalapeño pepper to give it a little kick.
She poured the liquid into a small vial, then licked the spoon clean before putting everything away. “Mmm, tasty,” she thought, then licked the spoon again.
Lastly, she sent a message for the Princess to come pick up the potion.
Oops! One of the warnings that young Bethany missed when she skipped potions class was to NEVER, NEVER change the recipe of a potion—and NEVER, NEVER, NEVER EVER drink or get the potion on you.
The next morning, she felt a bit nauseous but cheered up when the Princess came and drank the potion.
“Hmmm, not too bad,” said the Princess. “I hope it cancels the curse and I get pregnant!”
Bethany smiled and said, “So do I,” as the Princess rode back to the castle with a smile on her face.
Just then, Witch Bethany felt really sick to her stomach, bent over, and wretched, throwing up her morning’s breakfast on the pretty lawn.
“Oh my,” said the young Witch. “I wonder what could be wrong with me!”
The Siskiyou Writers Club is open to folks with a passion for creative writing of all genres. We generally meet the last Thursday of the month in various locations throughout Siskiyou County. You are welcome to join us. For more information about the club, contact Bob Kaster, 530-598-5204, email [email protected], or Mike Grifantini, 530-710-4882, email [email protected].
