YREKA— For the third time since the Vortex Wellness Festival was canceled, residents report “unusual thermodynamic activity” on Shasta’s backside after our infamous Weather-Modifying Chemtrail Array™ detected a rogue -16° cold spot where science says it should be a balmy 47°.
“That’s not frost, that’s the exhale,” claims survivalist/podcaster ‘Mountain Mike’ (definitely not his real name, we checked), who lives off-grid near Tennant. “The portal door always swings open when the Reptilian HOA in Dorris forgets…






