Home / Siskiyou News / EXCLUSIVE: Frozen Hell Portal Opens Behind Shasta, Local Sasquatch Files Noise Complaint

EXCLUSIVE: Frozen Hell Portal Opens Behind Shasta, Local Sasquatch Files Noise Complaint

YREKA— For the third time since the Vortex Wellness Festival was canceled, residents report “unusual thermodynamic activity” on Shasta’s backside after our infamous Weather-Modifying Chemtrail Array™ detected a rogue -16° cold spot where science says it should be a balmy 47°.

“That’s not frost, that’s the exhale,” claims survivalist/podcaster ‘Mountain Mike’ (definitely not his real name, we checked), who lives off-grid near Tennant. “The portal door always swings open when the Reptilian HOA in Dorris forgets…

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