Arrest Report for June 23rd thru June 30th, 2024

Touch of humor to some of these bookings, but remember, crime isn’t actually funny. Here’s a lighthearted take on a few:

• Morrill, C. Jean, 33, Weed – Booked for inflicting injury on a spouse. Seems like someone took “tough love” a bit too literally.
• Adamson, J. Walter, 69, Mt Shasta – Disorderly conduct due to alcohol. Grandpa’s wild night out didn’t end well.
• Nuanmanee, B., 34, Weed – DUI and hit and run. Looks like someone thought Grand Theft Auto was a driving tutorial.
• Rhoades, L. Jackie, 26, Dunsmuir – DUI. Apparently, she thought “drink responsibly” meant “drink, then drive responsibly.”
• Whalen, D. Stephen, 68, Yreka – Driving with a suspended license and possession of drug paraphernalia. Seems like grandpa’s retirement plan involves some questionable hobbies.
• Crawford, S. Herbert, 60, Yreka – Multiple charges of failing to appear in court. Looks like someone thought court dates were more like casual suggestions.
• Pish, D. Wesley, 21, Mt Shasta – Obstructing a public officer and attempted escape after arrest. Apparently, he thought “you have the right to remain silent” was more of a challenge.
• Timoteo, A. James, 32, Dunsmuir – Vandalism. When asked “Why can’t we have nice things?”, he took it as a personal mission statement.
• Roderickswolfe, L. Starseed, 26, Mt Shasta – Battery on a spouse/ex. With a name like “Lotusmoon Starseed,” you’d think he’d be more about peace and love.
• Hartz, J. Frederick, 74, Mt Shasta – Evading police and failure to appear on felony charges. Grandpa’s having a real-life action movie moment in his golden years.
• Luna, J. Nemecio, 34, Tygart (OR) – Possession of controlled substance and paraphernalia. Seems like Luna was reaching for the stars, but only got as high as the booking room.
• Dimarzio, D. Marie, 59, Brookings (OR) – DUI. Dina decided to turn happy hour into unhappy hours at the county jail.
• Hinds, T. Leonard, 46, Yreka – Grand theft and domestic violence. Travis apparently thought “What’s yours is mine” applied outside of marriage vows too.
• Glidden, B. Reese, 21, Yreka – Inflicting corporal injury and false imprisonment. Brenton’s idea of a “escape room” date night went horribly wrong.
• Criner, S. Jo, 37, Montague – Possession of controlled substance. Suzana was just trying to spice up her life, but ended up seasoning her record instead.
• Ashby, A. Joyce, 43, Yreka – Petty theft. Andrea’s “five-finger discount” shopping spree didn’t have the happy ending she hoped for.
• Seitzinger, J. Briann, 33, Yreka – Multiple charges including possession of controlled substance. Jennifer’s personal pharmacy wasn’t quite legal.
• Birch, K. Sue, 41, Etna – DUI causing bodily injury. Kimberly’s wild ride ended with a plot twist she didn’t see coming.
• Aphithip, A., 34, Oakdale (MN) – DUI and obstructing an officer. Atit’s road trip to California took an unexpected detour to the county jail.
• Skeen, A. Eugene, 28, Weed – Parole violation and evading police. Adam thought he was starring in “Fast and Furious: Weed Drift”, but the only thing drifting was his freedom.
• Day, E. Louis, 49, Yreka – Possession of unlawful paraphernalia and controlled substance. Eric’s “day” turned into a long night at the county jail.
• Jimenez, R. Ortega, 58, Yreka – Disorderly conduct due to alcohol. Roberto’s happy hour extended well past closing time and right into a holding cell.
• Bridgewater, J. Dwight, 27, Montague – DUI. Jonathan decided to build a bridge to trouble, and the tolls were steep.
• Marchetti, N. Paul, 30, Yreka – Multiple failures to appear and drug charges. Nathan seems to think court dates are optional and drug laws are mere suggestions.
• Scharper, S. Rae, 25, Weed – Battery on spouse/ex. Starlynn’s relationship counseling seems to have taken a physical turn.
• Teran-Bingham, R. Hazel, 28, Yreka – Shoplifting. Rebecca’s five-finger discount shopping spree didn’t have the happy ending she hoped for.
• Rodriguez, J. Luis, 37, Montague – Multiple charges including failure to appear and domestic violence. Jorge’s “ghosting” skills didn’t work as well on the court system as they did on his dates.
• Keluchie, B. Chester, 26, Fort Jones – Driving with suspended license. Branden thought “suspended” was just a fancy word for “optional.”
• Thompson, M. Robert, 45, Montague – Failure to appear after written promise. Michael seems to think court invitations are more like casual suggestions.
• Elwood, T. Christopher, 58, Yreka – Carrying a concealed firearm and unlawful firearm activity. Todd’s interpretation of “the right to bear arms” was a bit too liberal for local law enforcement.

Remember, while we can find humor in these situations, it’s important to recognize that these charges represent real issues that affect individuals and communities. Let’s hope these folks get the help or correction they need to make better choices in the future.